Bob Geldof

Harry 'Flash' Gordon

Mel Smith

Billy Evans

Alison Steadman

Doreen

P.H. Moriarty

Mike the Throat

Alfred Molina

DC Rogers

Phil Daniels

Terry

Kate Hardie

Sue

Ian Dury

Teddy Bryant

Ray Winstone

Timmy

Albie Woodington

Paul

Ron Cook

'The Wasp'

Alun Armstrong

Blackpool Police Sergeant

John Salthouse

Guest Commentator

Ted Lowe

Commentator - Himself

Prunella Gee

Interviewer

Kenny Ireland

TV Director

Stephen Churchett

TV Announcer

Freddie Davies

Referee

John Benfield

Contestant

Eric Richard

Poker Player