Biography

So I was in the ocean, swimming with my dad. When I felt something hit my head. You know when you're swimming in the sea, something hits you you automatically assume it's a shark or a jellyfish or something drastic, right? Well I'm panicking and flapping around but then I look up to see what actually did hit me. A packet of ham. Expiration date 2006. I turn to my dad I say "Hey! There's a packet of ham in the ocean!" He couldn't hear me so I swam over and said "Hey Dad look, there's a packet of ham in the ocean". I show it to him and he's all "Shit. It's a packet of ham." We turn to shore where my sisters and mum are and say "Hey! Packet of ham in the ocean!" They obviously can't hear us so we swim out and show them the packet of ham. "Hey look, there's a packet of ham just floating in the ocean. Look look!" They go "Shit. It's a packet of ham." Next thing you know my mum is texting my nan going all "You'll never believe it, Mark and Adam have just found a packet of ham in the ocean." Then she's texting other people about it and the story goes around. Nobody can believe it. Then we throw it back into the sea. TRUE STORY!Read More...